In the state of North Carolina, alimony, by law, terminates when a former spouse begins cohabitating with another person.
Rhett Atkins made a song about “That Ain’t my Truck” but I am sure that’s only one of many country songs about how a man sees another man’s truck in his old driveway once he and his former wife have split up.
In many divorces where alimony is granted to a former spouse, there is a significant game of “gotcha” that starts taking place. While women tend to be the best amateur detectives with a web of fellow female investigators on social media and around towns, men do frequent drive bys and employ private investigators. . In North Carolina, “cohabitation” is defined as two adults living together continually, in a relationship like married persons. Cohabitating is more than just spending the night occasionally. A former spouse can wear an engagement ring but not be cohabitating. Cohabitating is based on all the facts and circumstances surrounding the relationship between the former spouse and the new girlfriend/boyfriend.
This isn’t by any means an exhaustive list but here are some of the things that we look for to see if someone is cohabitating:
- How is rent or the mortgage being paid? If it’s being paid by the new gf/bf then is it being paid back by former spouse? Is it a loan? Is it a gift? Is there documentation?
- Does the new girlfriend or boyfriend have any personal property at the residence of the former spouse? What kind of personal property does the girlfriend/boyfriend have at the personal residence?
- How are the utilities and groceries being paid for at the residence and if they are being split or paid for by the new girlfriend/boyfriend is there an expectation of repayment by the former spouse for some or all the amounts spent? Are there receipts? Is there a ledger?
- Do they go on vacations together and who pays for them? How do they pay for them?
- Do they have any joint accounts, joint credit cards, or common discount cards (Hello Costco!) ?
- Do they share an insurance plan as a significant other?
- Are they monogamous?
- Do they have shared pictures on social media that appear to be more of people in a married life rather than dating? Together at family reunions, etc.
- Have they acquired assets together? Bought a boat, motorcycle, camper as a couple.
To terminate alimony, the person seeking to terminate it must prove that the former spouse is “cohabitating” which does require being in a dwelling together AND is legally defined as “voluntary mutual assumption of those marital rights, duties, and obligations which are usually manifested by married people, and which include, but are not necessarily dependent on, sexual relations.”
So let me put that in English, you can be cohabitating if you live together and don’t have a sexual relationship if you are someone else’s emergency contact, take care of the rent, cook the meals, and go on vacations together. It doesn’t matter the gender of that person. If you are carrying on like married people normally would and living in the same property, then you could be cohabitating even without a sexual relationship, and it could end alimony payments.
On the flip side, you can have a long term romantic and sexual relationship and NOT share a dwelling but still go on vacations together and it probably will not end the alimony.
Choose wisely or call us for guidance.
