Man-made diamonds or actual diamonds, round or square, marquis or pear shaped, platinum or white gold?
In a generation of changed expectations, many couples are opting for man-made diamonds and many couples are choosing to finance engagements and weddings differently than they have in years past. The large weddings and giant natural diamonds of generations past seem to be fading a bit but one thing stays the same; some engagements and marriages work and some don’t.
What happens to the engagement ring if the couple gets engaged but ultimately calls it off? The first question is who paid for it? With more couples living together and sharing expenses, this is sometimes a fuzzy question. To the extent that an engagement ring was purchased in contemplation of marriage by a spouse for the other as a gift conditioned on the marriage (traditional proposal), it goes back to the asking spouse if the marriage doesn’t happen. However (read that in all CAPS), if there are shared expenses, contract claims, leases, and the ring was one of the many things financed then there may be contract claims that have to be sorted out in a broader dissolution process. As a general rule though, the Courts in North Carolina, consider an engagement ring to belong to the Giver if the marriage doesn’t go through.
So what happens to the engagement ring when the marriage occurs but then there is a divorce? The conditional gift becomes an actual gift under the law in most cases and it belongs to the spouse to whom it was given. In the case of Hardin v. Hardin, 779 S.E.2d 527 (N.C. Ct. App. 2015), the husband kept the former wife’s engagement ring after they separated and had it made into a necklace pendant of an airplane propeller. The Court found that the wife could demand the return of the ring turned propeller or its value if she wasn’t an aviation fan (?)
But what happens if the engagement ring was a family heirloom and everyone knew that going in and then we get divorced? In the State of North Carolina, it all comes down to intent and a factual determination of whether when the ring was given, the engaging spouse made it clear that the ring still belonged to the proposer but would only be worn by the fiancée. As one can imagine, those conversations are probably generally held in private so finding witnesses that are unbiased to corroborate that understanding would be difficult especially once a divorce got filed. This is why we suggest premarital agreements.
